Throwing In The Towel

When I posted that quote about the marathon last week it had a double meaning for me.  On one hand it was saying it was OK to finish a marathon in whatever time I need to that day.  On the other, it was saying that it might take many, many months or even years to get to the start line of a marathon and that was OK too.  It was the second interpretation that resonated with me last week as I came to terms with the realization that the Eugene Marathon wasn't going to happen for me this year.  I am officially dropping my registration from the full to the half-marathon. 

This was a really difficult decision to make.  I wanted this marathon BADLY.  Ever since I finally ran a half I could be proud of last year this race has been my goal.  I wanted this one to be my inaugural marathon.  It was a chance to prove to myself how much further I can push myself and what I can accomplish.  This race was going to be the best way I could think of to celebrate my 40th birthday which is the day before the race. Heck, when we scheduled the wedding we did it so that it happened after Eugene.  So the decision to drop the race was emotional for me and difficult to accept.  But facts are facts and this injury has kept me from running and training and there was no way I could be ready by May 1 to run any kind of race I could be proud of.  I just feel lucky that the injury happened so early in training and not after four months of hard work.

Another reason this race meant so much is that we are going to try to have a baby after the wedding and getting the marathon done before that happened would have been perfect timing.  Training while pregnant just sounds miserable and, especially considering my age, probably not safe.  By the way, running through pregnancy is safe, just not hard training you haven't done before.  I know I can run one after a kid is born but I am guessing that will be fairly exhausting as well.  This race was my best possible chance to train my hardest and be at my best for the distance.  And it's gone now.  Unless of course there will be no babies then, woo-hoo, here come some races!

On the injury front, the calf has been (knock wood) much better and I am thinking about testing the waters with it this week.  The sciatica is also better but still flares up a little.  The back pain, which I never had before I started doing exercises for the sciatica, also seems to have mostly gone away.  Running should be able to begin again soon which is good because I am less than eight weeks away from a half-marathon and I would really like that race not to suck.

As for the marathon, well I'm ready for that amazing journey Ms. Flanagan spoke about and I will write my own ending for it in another race this year.  If I can run pain free very soon then Rock and Roll Seattle at the end of June is a possibility.  Portland or Victoria in early October are also high on the list but while running in fall is fabulous, training in summer is a bitch and I don't know how I would do with that.  For now I am just going to keep on with my PT program, cross-train while I can and focus on getting to the start line of 26.2.