Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Home Stretch

Well, the big day is almost here.  I have a few moments while I am waiting for a computer process to run at work to muse on some things. 

First, this whole process has made me bipolar, I swear.  Between learning how to make me and my world views fit into bride and wife roles and planning a gigantic ass party I have been all over the map these past few months.  Some times I love it, other times I hate it, other times it is all sort of "meh".  It can vary from hour to hour or day to day. I am ready for life to get back to normal and all of the pressures (mostly self-made) can be off.   I never questioned my relatonship with Kevin but I have questioned the institution of marriage and the role of wife.   I have figured out how to make bride and wife fit for me and I am close to not thinking of the word "wife" as a swear word anymore.  Huge progress people.

I have also been made even more aware that there are two things that will set me off and get me out of balance and those are:  being tired for multiple days and being hungry.  I knew this about me before but these past few weeks have pounded that message home.  The mood has been dark and negative and that isn't normal for me.  I have been getting about 5-6 hours a night and for the last week, to fit into the damn dress, I haven't been eating much.  This combination makes for one unhappy and bitchy Ann-Marie.  Luckily we are almost done with tasks and we can head down to Portland tomorrow for some pre-wedding relaxation and SLEEP and I can get myself back to normal and enjoy the weekend.  Up until this morning I wasn't excited, I just wanted it to be over with.  I am now actually starting to feel excited and happy about our shindig. Finally feeling like I want to smile about it and am looking forward to it feels good.  I still think if you are looking at the whole thing with an objective eye that weddings are kind of ridiculous but I will revel in the ridiculousness of it all this weekend. 

Oh, and the dress fits again.  I am down just over six pounds in a week.  Hooray for quick water-weight loss!!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Deep Weeds

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.  I'm getting married in eleven days and ........I don't fit into my wedding dress.  Not just a "oh, it's a bit too tight" or "it's slightly uncomfortable" or "I bulge a little there".  It is a I CAN'T EVEN ZIP IT UP!  I CAN'T HOOK THE TOP EYE!  Excuse my vulgarity internet but I am fucked.

The damn thing fit when I picked it up from the alterations lady a month ago but there wasn't much room for error (i.e. porking out).  What did I do?  I gained 7.5 lbs since I had it measured and fit five weeks ago (only 5.5 lbs since I picked it up) .  Yes, thank you, that is mad weight gaining skills.  At least I have mad skills at something.  Stupid tiredness and stress.

The weight I was at when I was fitted was one of those tipping point weights where just a two pound weight gain means all of my clothes fit differently.  That might sound ridiculous but it is really true.  This means that the 7.5 lbs feels like an extra 15 and totally alters the way all my clothes fit. 

I am taking the dress into her today to have them whisk it away for pressing/steaming.  Maybe I can see if she can do something. I am guessing not since she took in fabric to fit it to me and that probably doesn't leave anything to let out.  My other tactic is to do something I HATE and that is crash diet.   I don't think they are safe or effective in the long-term but this is the short term and if I blimp right back up on May 15th I can deal with that the real way (proper diet and exercise) then.  In the meantime I am resorting to South Beach because I know I can drop some quick pounds that way and hopefully not have to go out and buy another MF-ing dress.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Eugene Half-Marathon Walk Report

I decided to not push myself too much and only walk the half marathon instead of run/walking it. Since I was going to be walking Kevin decided to join me. The weather was perfect and we actually had some fun. I felt like a big ol' loser being with the walkers at first but I reminded myself that a 13 mile walk is still a good workout and to shut up and quit being a whiner. I kept thinking how this was supposed to be my inaugural marathon but in some ways I am glad it didn't turn out that way. The wedding planning has taken way more time than I imagined and I am not feeling good this weekend (rattley cough and chest congestion) which would have made running a half , let alone a full, challenging.

Oddly enough, walking felt harder on my muscles than running does. My quads feel trashed right now. In order to break up the walking monotony we decided to run at every mile marker for .20. This felt SO GOOD on my legs and back. Just switching up the muscle motion made a huge difference in how we felt.
We finished in 3:14 with a pace of 14:49. Not bad for a walking pace. Finish line pancakes were consumed, a good time was had by all. I would rather have been running it but at least I got to participate a little bit.