Thursday, June 10, 2010

Where I Am Not

These ten days should be filled with a lovely trip to Baltimore and Washington D.C.  I should be screaming on terrifying rollercoasters at Hershey Park, watching the worst team in baseball at Camden Yards, attending a ballet at The Kennedy Center, seeing Poe's grave, going for an 11-miler on the banks of the Potomac, doing a dream run on the National Mall, visiting Kermit and The Smithsonian, meeting and visiting with Kevin's family and friends for a whopping second time in our three and a half year relationship and relaxing in a beautiful hotel (for free!) while Kevin attends a conference there next week.  But no.  Instead I cancelled my plans and ate my non-refundable plane ticket and am staying home because there have been some family health issues.

Dad has taken a turn for the worse and thing are kind of up in the air for his ability to come home.  He is currently in a nursing home for a five-day respite stay so my mother can get some rest but honestly he needs a few days of professional nursing care too.  We should have a better sense of how things are going by the end of this week.  However, Mom has been down sick for going on three weeks now so she isn't in great shape either.  I stayed down at their house last night and will be taking her to her doctor's appointment today.

While I am upset at missing my vacation I know staying home was the right thing to do.  They are my parents and they need me and it wouldn't have been fair to go traipsing around the country knowing what is and might be going on back home.  I would have felt guilty and worried the whole time I was away.  I know it is what you are supposed to do as a daughter and concerned family member but, ugly shameful confession time, I do grow weary of all of the medical drama and am slightly resentful right now.  And then I feel guilty for feeling that way. 


liane said...

Hi Lady,
All those feelings are perfectly natural and okay. But you already know that. You did the right thing. If you'd like someone to take you out for dinner or drinks for a bit of a respite, I'm your gal. Or if there is anything I can do for you, just give me the word.

Kath said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're missing what sounds like a wonderful trip and even more sorry to hear that your parents are not doing so well... hang in there!!