Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It's Happening

Oy vey.

The moments of relative normal have passed and we are knee deep in the real deal now.  I first heard the time "actively dying" when I started working at the nursing home and now I get to experience it in real life.  Dad is now "actively dying".

He is now completely bed bound and hasn't had solid food since Friday.  He is barely taking in any fluids; almost none yesterday but he did drink a little about 4:00 this morning.  Luckily he doesn't seem to be in too much pain.  He is mostly resting comfortably with occasional weird sounds and grimaces.  He was able to swallow some pain pills this morning but couldn't respond or swallow last night so I got to administer his pain meds rectally.  Between that and changing his clothes and cleaning him up on Father's Day I have now done things I am pretty sure neither of us ever thought we would do or would ever want to do.  I don't recommend it.  Apparently all meds that aren't in capsule or liquid form can be administered rectally in case you ever need to know that or in case you are into that sort of thing.

At this point we are just keeping him comfortable and keeping him, and my Mom, company while this progresses.  Luckily my brother is taking the night shift tonight so I can go home and get some sleep.  He is more restless at night and I was up quite a bit taking care of him.  During the day he is mostly unresponsive but seems calmer and more at peace.  I just hope for his sake, and let's be honest, for ours too that this doesn't drag on and on.  I hope he is ready to let go.


Judy said...

I have been exactly where you are. Not pretty, not comfortable, but definitely one of the most important experiences of your life. I think until someone has been with their parent (or close family)during the last days of their lives; watching to make sure they are still breathing, they don't truly understand how powerful it is. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm only a call away if you need to talk.

Kath said...

Oh, Anne. I'm so sorry. Are you going to be able to get some hospice support at all? You are in my thoughts...


Fishergirl said...